


The King and the Plumber

by doobler



Category: Mario & Luigi RPG (Video Games)
Genre: Fluff, Humor, Just cute shit, M/M, Multi, Nintendo - Freeform, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-07
Updated: 2017-11-07
Packaged: 2019-01-30 13:59:37
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,086
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12654945
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/doobler/pseuds/doobler
Summary: Just... Read this please. You won't regret it.





	The King and the Plumber

Mario treasured his spare moments of relaxation time. If he were to be honest with himself, he was an anxious person at heart, always fidgety and ready to run. Sometimes, however, the calm and quiet were welcomed, if not refreshing.  
"I think that's all of them!" Princess Peach exclaimed, looking mighty proud of herself. "Thanks for helping me move all these books, Mario."  
"It was my pleasure, Peach!" The plumber replied.  
He bowed slightly at the waist. The princess returned the favor, daintily curtsying with her hands tucked into her overall pockets. The pair laughed, warm and sunny.  
"How are things with Daisy?" Mario spoke up suddenly.  
Peach dropped her book in surprise, eyes going wide. A furious blush painted her cheeks.  
"Oh! Well. We're... Doing quite well, I think. She's doing business in another kingdom right now so I haven't seen her recently but... We're making it work."  
"I'm genuinely happy for you, Peach," Mario beamed, his smile shining in his eyes. "You two make a great pair."  
Princess Peach sighed, reaching forward to caress Mario's cheek with her hand. It was an intimate but platonic gesture, one commonplace within their lengthy friendship.  
"I'm sure you'll find someone, Mario. You're a real catch, anyone would be blessed to have you."  
Before Mario could reply, the library doors burst open and a Toad tumbled inside. He went head over heels until Mario swooped in to help him up.  
"What's the matter, Toad?" Peach squealed, rushing over to assist.  
"K-k-k-k-kidnapping!!!" Toad trembled, looking paler than a Boo. "K-k-k-k-kidnapping!!! Th-th-there's been a K-k-k-k-kidnapping!!"  
Mario and Peach turned to each other, brows raising.  
"Who was kidnapped?" Peach pressed.  
"L-lui-luigi!!!"

High above the skies of the Mushroom Kingdom, Luigi swore he was ready to vomit.  
He curled in on himself, hands wrapped around his ankles. Bowser's Clown Car shuddered beneath him, the engine humming loudly. From his alcove beneath the ship's controls, Luigi could see his captor steering them along. He knew who it was the moment he was snatched up, distracted by his gardening (Queen Bean had sent him some peppers and herbs native to the BeanBean Kingdom after Luigi asked nicely for a sample to grow at home). There was no one else that he knew of that would be responsible for such a heinous act.  
Mario and the princess crossed his mind. No doubt his captor had been spotted and word probably already reached the castle about his kidnapping. Maybe the princess was weeping, wringing her hands in agony. Maybe Mario was disappointed, grinding his foot into the ground with a scowl on his face. If only he'd been faster, been braver, been more like his big brother, this may have been avoided.  
Breathing in deeply, Luigi started to gather up his courage, eager to take action and bolt. He was sure if he jumped ship, he could land somewhere safely, find a nearby town, and make his way back home where he'd probably stay locked inside for at least a week. Just as he started crawling across the floor, the Clown Car took a steep dive. Luigi felt his stomach do a triple jump up into his throat. They descended, faster and faster, before snapping back up. Luigi knocked his head on the ship's machinery, wincing in pain. A hum filled the air as they slowed, docking and shuddering to a stop.  
They were at their final destination.

"I'm coming with you."  
Mario sighed through his nose, rubbing at the space between his brows. He yanked up his overalls by the straps, taking a swift pace out the castle doors.  
"No offense, princess, but don't be crazy," Mario crossed the pavement, already mapping out ferry locations in his mind. It was too far to walk and no one in the nearby area had a ship of any kind. "I can't risk your safety as well--"  
Suddenly, Peach stepped in Mario's path, blue eyes blazing with a fiery passion.  
"Luigi is my best friend. I have to help."  
Mario eyed her up and down, suddenly realizing there was no stopping the princess. She had dipped after Toad delivered the news to steel her nerves, or so Mario had thought. Instead, she had taken a moment to pack supplies, trading her customary dress for a pair of sturdy hiking shorts and rugged jacket. Her hair was pulled back, a travel bag slung across her shoulders and determination shining in her eyes.  
"He's helped me through so much, Mario. I have to repay the favor. That's what you do when you love someone."  
Mario gritted his teeth. Even after all these years, Peach had a way of tugging on his heartstrings. If she pulled the "you're practically family" card, he'd no don't buckle.  
"Please, Mario-"  
"Fine! But the moment things go south, I'm sending you back home. Got it?"  
Mario stuck out his hand and Peach gripped it immediately, shaking briskly. With a pep in her step, she bounded down the path.  
"Ever since you returned from the BeanBean Kingdom," Peach called over her shoulder. "We've made some upgrades!"  
Mario followed, intrigued. They rounded the castle, bypassing the hedge maze and endless gardens, towards a sequestered ring of towering trees Mario didn't recognize. He slowed his pace as Peach ducked into between them. It was silent for a moment before a mechanical whirr filled the air. Winds were kicked up, making the plumber hastily reach up to grab his hat and keep it pinned to his head.  
From the trees rose a mushroom-shaped ship, much like Bowser's Clown Car. It had a tall windshield to protect from blistering gales and a stack of high powered engines. From where Mario was standing, he could smell the acrid tang of biodegradable waste.  
The ship was mushroom powered.  
"You have outdone yourself, princess." Mario muttered under his breath, a wild smile splitting across his face.  
"What are you waiting for?!" Peach called. She slipped on a pair of goggles, tossing an extra pair to her partner in crime. "Hop in, hero!"  
Mario laughed, dropping to a crouch before sailing through the air. He landed perfectly in the passenger's seat, buckling himself a split second before Peach took off, peeling through the clouds.

Despite it's impressive design, the Mush-Ship wasn't nearly as fast as the other airships Mario had been on. It was small and ran off of plants so of course it wasn't a speed demon. Despite that, Peach leaned heavily into the controls, urging the vessel faster.  
"What do you think he has planned?" Mario spoke above the wind.  
Peach was quiet for a moment and Mario feared she hadn't heard him. Pursing her lips, she squinted at the horizon.  
"I... I don't know, Mario," She finally spoke. "With me, it's... It's political move, a power stance. You take the monarch, you have the kingdom. If he wanted to strike fear into our people, no offense but he would take you instead. You're undeniably the patron hero of the Mushroom Kingdom. Not discounting Luigi but stories about him aren't as common as yours."  
"So... What does that mean?"  
"I don't. I don't know."  
Mario went silent, folding his hands across his chest. He watched the clouds whizz by, dissipating into a thin vapor. Maybe one day, he'd be able to enjoy the view. It seemed like any time in the air was a time for action, not recreation.  
"I wouldn't worry too much, Mario."  
The plumber snapped from his thoughts, turning to Peach. She was smiling grimly, jaw set.  
"Luigi's gotten real tough. He can handle himself, no problem."  
"I know." Mario nodded. "I'm still... Worried."  
"Aren't you two twins?"  
Mario narrowed his eyes at Peach, the cogs in his head whirring away.  
"I've heard twins have some kind of... Fraternal link. Across space and such. Maybe... If you focus, you can gain something?"  
Mario huffed through his nose. He'd fought demons and monsters, literal zombies and incarnates of evil, but even that sounded silly. Regardless, he closed his eyes, settling back in his seat as he concentrated. He thought about everything that reminded him of his little brother: the color green, the smell of freshly brewed coffee and buttery pastries, the genuine prideful gleam in his eyes, his kind-hearted disposition, his strength to face his fears.  
A chill ran down Mario's spine as a sense of confidence settled in his ribs.  
"I think... He's ok. For now."  
Peach beamed, smiling wide enough to bring out her dimples. With a grin, she leaned hard into the throttle, rocketing them off towards the horizon.

There was an air of urgency surrounding Bowser's castle. Even high in the sky above, Mario and Peach could feel it. Below them, Bullet Bills and Paratroopas zoomed back and forth. They could hear the din of commanding officers, Goombas, Shy Guys, and Bob-ombs marching across the hot concrete.  
Peach wiped the sweat from her brow.  
"How do we get in?" She thought aloud.  
"I hop off and sweep around the back," Mario replied, already throwing a leg over the Mush-Ship's chassis. "You park nearby but at a safe distance until I give the signal."  
Suddenly, the craft snap to the side, hurtling Mario back into the cockpit. He yelped, his hat flying off in the process.  
"As if!" The princess snapped. "I'm helping you and that's final!"  
Mario groaned, pulling himself upright.  
"Fine! Fine. Lower us down into the woods behind the castle. Last time we were here, Luigi and I found a hidden Warp Pipe that leads to the castle's underground."  
For a moment, Mario tempted the idea of hopping out, locking the ship into auto-pilot and sending the princess back home. Before he could, they landed, tucking the Mush-Ship under some convenient brush. It only took a few minutes to locate the Warp Pipe (still entirely exposed and unaccounted for).  
"This is your last chance to back out," Mario spoke up, looking deadly serious with one leg down the Pipe. "Once we're in, we're hitting the ground running."  
"Don't worry," Peach grinned, bracing her hands on the lip. "I'm not a coward."  
With that, she vaulted the edge, dropping down the dark winding tube without a second thought. Mario huffed. No wonder he was still so smitten.  
He followed close behind, hoping they weren't too late.

Bowser's Castle seemed to burn hotter than usual. The looping rivers of boiling lava glowed brighter, making the duo shield their eyes. Even this deep in the castle's bowels, minions of the Koopa King were scuttling hither and thither.  
"What do you think they're up to?" Peach reached back, gripping the bottom of her bag.  
"I'm not sure," Mario replied. They crept over the edge of a lava river's bank, watching the chaos below. "It looks like they're... Fueling something. Something that needs more power than literal boiling rocks."  
Peach grunted softly, here eyes darting back and forth.  
"We should get moving."  
The pair ducked, dodged, and wove back and forth, crossing catwalks and suspension bridges as silently as possible. Thankfully, the crew below were far too engrossed in their jobs to pay any mind.  
"Up ahead," Mario instructed, keeping close to Peach's heels. "Is a service elevator that brings smaller batches of fuel up to the other parts of the castle. We can catch it on the way up-- Luigi's probably nearer to the highest level."  
Peach nodded, leaning to the side to let Mario lead. They vaulted across a few more paths, expertly making their way between beams and supports, until they were a jump away from the service elevator. It was being run by two Shy Guys-- one inside the lift and the other operating the button.  
Silently, Mario inched forward, waiting for the moment when the button was pressed and the second Shy Guy dropped his guard. Without any warning, Peach superceded his plotting, hopping down and delivering a swift kick to the face. The Shy Guy tumbled off the controls, honking frantically. The elevator door opened and before the other Shy Guy could react, Peach hoisted him up and threw him out. She waved for Mario to follow, slamming the Up button as she shimmied into the elevator. Mario caught up, breathless, and ducked inside just as the door closed.  
"Where the hell did you learn how to do that?!" The plumber squawked, slapping a hand over his mouth to muffle himself.  
"Language, Mario!" Peach giggled. "Just because you're the hero doesn't mean I shouldn't also learn self-defense!"  
They shared a moment of laughter, riding the elevator as high as it would take them, further into the belly of Bowser's Castle.

Once the elevator shuddered to a halt, Peach held her thumb on the button, keeping the doors closed. The pair leaned close, eagerly listening outside.  
"--nd make sure that's properly covered! If King Bowser gets a plate of cold food, he'll have your shells!"  
"Where should we take all these cables, captain?"  
"Take them to the guest suite, pronto!"  
"Guest suite?" Mario hissed. "I don't remember there being a guest suite!"  
"It's new," Peach replied, looking mischievous. "I think I upset Bowser enough with my complaining that he upgraded his holding area."  
Mario bit back a laugh. The idea of Bowser making up a fancy bedroom out of spite was hilarious.  
The duo waited, holding their breath in anticipation, until they were sure it'd gone silent outside. Peach released the button, dropping onto the floor.  
"We're in the kitchen," She declared. "The dining hall should be close by."  
"You're suggesting we knock Bowser out ahead of time?" Mario grinned, pounding his fist into his palm.  
"Maybe. We should at least investigate."  
They shot out the kitchen doors, racing down the hall without a sound. All the minions seemed to be hard at work in other branches of the castle, making their reconnaissance easier. Once they reached the dining hall doors, Mario held a finger up to his lips, gingerly easing the door open an inch.  
They peered inside, amazed to find not only Bowser but Luigi as well.  
The younger plumber was sat at the Koopa King's elbow, picking at a plate of glistening pastries. He looked mildly shaken but put together, any fear he might've had buried deep within.  
Mario's fists clenched on instinct.  
"Can you hear what they're saying?" Peach whispered.  
"I don't need to." Mario growled back.  
Just then, Bowser leaned in, his face moving closer to Luigi's. Something in Mario broke, steering him to kick down the door with a shout.  
"Mario!" Bowser yelped.  
"Mario?" Luigi sang.  
"Bowser!!" Mario bellowed.  
"Peach?!" Bowser gasped.  
"Luigi!!" Mario called.  
"Oh my god." Peach rolled her eyes.  
Mario shot down the dining hall like a rabid Bullet Bill, vaulting off a chair and onto the table. Before he could make it to his beloved brother, Bowser hopped up off his seat, breathing in deeply and exhaling a wall of fire. Mario dodged it expertly, kicking a chair around to block the flames. Bowser responded in kind, lifting up another seat and hurtling it at the plumber. Mario leapt, doing an effortless back spring off the chair, and hooked onto a chandelier. He twisted around, dropping with his feet pinned heel to heel to deliver a swift jackknife dive.  
"Wait!"  
Mario lost his focus, missing his target and hitting the floor with a groan. Bowser paused his own attack, coughing up a plume of smoke.  
"Stop fighting, you two!" Luigi interjected. "How difficult is it to sit down and talk every once in a while?"  
Peach, Bowser, and Mario looked between one another before slowly taking a seat at the table, Peach and Mario across from one another and safely three chairs down from Bowser.  
"We're gonna get you outta here, lil' bro." Mario spat between clenched teeth.  
"No," Luigi sat up straighter, lips pouting slightly. "You're gonna relax for a sec and listen for once."  
Mario flushed, eyes going wide. Luigi had always been the far more patient twin. Like a scolded child, Mario sat back in his seat, kicking his feet solemnly.  
"Thank you." Luigi beamed. "Princess, it's good to see you!"  
"Good to see you too, Luigi." Peach smiled back.  
"I'm sorry I missed our baking thing today."  
"Don't worry! I know you were... Busy."  
Bowser cleared his throat awkwardly. Peach pretended not to hear.  
"So what is it you wanted to tell us?"  
"Well..." Luigi began, taking a long sip from his tea cup.

 

Earlier....

Luigi woke up in a plush bed with a fluffy duvet tucked around him, shrouding him like a cocoon. His hat, gloves, and shoes were nowhere to be found and a slight migraine was spreading across the crown of his head. He must've been knocked out during the bumpy landing and carried inside.  
Looking around, Luigi took note that the room had been meant originally for Peach. The upholstery, bedding, and furniture were all varying shades of pink, namely a softer hue. A framed picture of Bowser with Peach photoshopped beside him sat above the fireplace.  
Luigi sat up, rubbing at his forehead. He threw his legs over the edge of the bed, hopping down with a grunt. He'd never seen a bed so high off the ground in his life. Then again, Bowser seemed to fluctuate between six feet tall and the size of a bus. It only made sense that all his furniture would be equally huge.  
Just as Luigi went to investigate further, the door creaked open, making him jump. A Goomba poked its head inside, only to scuttle off immediately. Luigi crept towards the door, shrieking in surprise when it was flung open.  
"Luigi!! I see you're awake!" Bowser bellowed.  
"Wh-wh-wh-wha-wha-whhh-wh-wha-whaaaa--"  
"T-take a deep breath before you pass out." Bowser looked sheepish, gesturing for Luigi to calm down.  
He took a long deep breath and exhaled slowly.  
"Wh-why am I h-here...?" Luigi asked.  
Bowser clicked his claws on the floor awkwardly, rocking back and forth on the balls of his feet.  
"Well... I heard word that Peach was in a... Legitimate and official relationship and thought it'd be... Rude to kidnap her at this point."  
Bowser avoided eye contact. In all his years, Luigi had never seen the Koopa King like this.  
"You... Kidnapped me out of politeness?" Luigi offered.  
"Y-yeah, I guess so. Technically. M-mario and Peach were never. Y'know. Official. So I thought it was fair game."  
Luigi blinked owlishly. He fidgeted a bit, rubbing his hands, swaying on his feet, humming awkwardly. Bowser suddenly straightened up, his eyes turning bright.  
"I uhm. I kinda stole you at a bad time-- are you hungry? I could have my minions whip up something!"  
"I think... I'll wait a bit." Luigi replied, shaking his head graciously. "I'll just uhh..."  
"... Would you uhmm... Like a tour maybe?"  
No sort of malice radiated from the Koopa King. He seemed sincere, his body language open and vulnerable.  
He was genuinely flustered.  
The idea of his brother's greatest enemy being intimidated by him, a lanky plumber who nipped at his brother's heels like an eager puppy, calmed his nerves greatly. He smiled, chuckling.  
"Sure. That sounds... Good."

It was weird at first, being led down the halls of Bowser's Castle not as a prisoner but as a guest. Bowser talked at length about the process it took to build, the manpower, the hours and dedication. Every so often, a minion waddled up, ready for a command. In his own private sanctuary, Bowser was more relaxed. He seemed peppier, waving them off with a faint smile.  
"This is the only part of the castle I can't get to fuc-- uhhh work." Bowser groaned.  
Luigi gasped, eyes going wide with wonder. It was a perfect terrace for gardening, high enough above the lava not to be sweltering but close enough to be bathed in an eternal warmth. There were pots and plots meticulously measure out yet regrettably bare. The center of the garden had a fountain, the heart of it made of ice that melted into water as it bubbled out, creating a thin blanket of steam as it hit the basin. It was beautiful.  
"Everything I plant here dies," Bowser lamented. "Nothing seems to be able to stand the heat here..."  
"... There's a type of flower in the BeanBean Kingdom that only grows inside and around volcanoes." Luigi thought aloud.  
Bowser lifted his head from his dramatic tirade, his face lighting up like the sun.  
"Really?! Where is it?!"  
"I've been corresponding with Queen Bean since we left months ago," Luigi smiled. "She's been sending me pepper seeds and coffee beans. Next time she mails me, I'd be happy to get you some of those flowers."  
Bowser looked ready to burst, breaking out in a sharp-toothed grin. He started babbling on about his original plan for the garden, describing exactly what breeds and topiaries he had wanted at the start. Something stirred in Luigi's chest, making his heart squeeze.  
"Let me show you the library!" Bowser gushed, reaching out to grab Luigi's hand. He pulled back at the last second, aborting the contact swiftly.  
Luigi followed close behind.

Time seemed to fly by. One moment, Luigi was perusing Bowser's surprisingly vast library. The next, he could hear a distant grandfather clock chime.  
"Oh," Luigi thought aloud. "I'm gonna miss coffee time today."  
Bowser shot up out of his seat, looking panicked.  
"N-no, I can put something together! Let me get my minions!"  
Bowser put his hand to his mouth, whistling shrilly. A small crowd of Goombas, Shy Guys, and Koopas assembled immediately.  
"Whip up an afternoon tea time meal, ASAP!" He barked.  
The crowd immediately vanished, scuttling off to do their job. Bowser smacked his forehead, looking deeply apologetic.  
"I forgot to ask you what you actually like...."  
"Don't worry, I'm not picky!" Luigi replied, smiling brightly.  
They left the library, walking side by side until Bowser spoke up.  
"You're... Weirdly okay with this," He hesitated, his stride faltering. "I mean... I did kidnap you against your will and... Bring you to a giant stone castle resting inside a remote volcano."  
"Yeah, that. That did happen," Luigi sighed, staring at the floor. "But... I think you aren't sure how else to act. Based on your family history, it doesn't seem like you had a steady home during your childhood so you grew up to be more atune towards violence to get your way. You had children, either by choice or by accident, so not only did you become responsible at a younger age but also willing to defend those you care about and eager to do whatever possible to keep them safe. You aren't inherently evil, I don't think. You have good in you. You just aren't sure how to channel that given your so called villainous persona that you've built over the ages as a wall of defense around your more vulnerable and romantic-leaning core. You kidnap because you want to find love-- either for the first time or once again given you have Bowser Jr who is undoubtedly your biological child-- and you want to build a support system not only for yourself but your children and crew as well. You feel like if you aren't struggling, you aren't making progress because your whole life has been a struggle so you create conflict. You know the princess is a just, fair, and loving ruler and that's the kind of person you want by your side. The people of the Mushroom Kingdom are... Soft so they'd never seen a hulking dragon-turtle as a benefactor so you see that the only way to get attention is to revert back to your chaotic and violent roots to get your way. In truth, you just want to find love, be loved, and have support just like anyone else on this planet. You just need a little extra help to overcome the hurdle of years of neglect in your life and I... Can understand and respect that."  
Bowser sniffled, a glint of tears shimmering in his eyes. He coughed harshly, turned to wipe his face.  
"Sorry," Luigi flushed. "When Mario doesn't take me on adventures, I binge on a lot of crime thrillers. Also I owned a mansion at one point that had inexplicable puzzles that I had to solve to save my sole family member so. That shit sticks with you."  
Bowser laughed, deep and hearty, making Luigi's chest clench again.  
"Shall we?" Luigi gestured towards the dining hall.  
"After you." Bowser replied.

 

"And when you guys came," Luigi finished, already on his third cup of coffee. "We were just about to be done eating. Bowser was telling me about how he wishes there were more exotic spices around here for him to try and I was just about to remind him that I have a BeanBean garden at home."  
When Mario and Peach turned to look at Bowser, they were both amazed to find him staring at Luigi, a look of fondness apparent on his face.  
"So are you...?" Peach began, gesturing between the odd duo.  
"I'm... Pansexual." Bowser replied, looking rather flustered.  
"He's what?" Mario whispered.  
"Shush, I'll explain later," Peach stood up from her chair, suddenly looking serious. "I think we should be going now. All of us."  
Before Bowser could reply, Luigi stood too, a look of determination settling on his face.  
"You guys go ahead. I'll be home by tonight."  
Mario went to argue only for Bowser to cut him off.  
"On my life. I'll have him home by tonight."  
Mario hesitated, a flash of fury crossing his face. When Luigi met his stare, equally passionate, Mario folded.  
"Fine." He stood, making a show of whipping out his chair. "If I wake up tomorrow morning and he isn't there, just know I'll be back here, immediately, and ready to whoop your fat scaley as--"  
"Language, Mario!"  
Bowser looked solemn, dipping his head slightly.  
"You have my word, Mario." He swore. "On my honor."

The ride back to the Mushroom Kingdom was utterly silent, save the occasional bird that whizzed by. Luigi had asked Mario (very nicely with a face that was hard to resist) to take home some of the pastries Bowser had made. A satchel sat in the back, stuffed to burst with confections and a bag or two of coffee beans ("Bowser also likes coffee, did you know that?! He made his own blend that he wants me to try at home!").  
"Maybe... This is good." Peach suddenly spoke up, only to be cut off by Mario's fervent grumbling.  
"Luigi is ALONE in a castle in a VOLCANO with the KOOPA KING," Mario argued, trying his best not to swear. "This is a TERRIBLE idea."  
"Didn't you see how happy Luigi was?" Peach glanced away from the horizon, fixing Mario with a pained look.  
"Luigi isn't the best decision maker, if you hadn't noticed. He charged headfirst into a haunted mansion, fully aware of his crippling fear of the undead."  
"... If he hadn't, you wouldn't be here."  
Mario snapped his mouth shut, taking a moment to watch the scenery. Maybe Peach was right, or maybe he was endangering the person he loved most in the entire cosmos. He wasn't sure and it made his blood boil.  
"It's fine-- I already said that if Luigi isn't home by tomorrow morning, Bowser's shell is mine." Mario harrumphed. He tugged his hat down over his eyes, mumbling under his breath. "Wake me up when we get home."  
Peach shook her head, focusing back on her steering. Within moments, Mario was snoring softly, his foot twitching as he slept. The princess clicked on the autopilot, sitting back to admire the clouds and fading sunset.

It was almost 2am when the front door creaked open and Luigi crept inside. He tried his best to remain silent, slipping off his shoes and avoiding every creaky floorboard as he went. He almost made it to the kitchen when the living room light flicked on, revealing a rather haughty looking Mario in his pjamas.  
"Brother." He said, his voice stiff.  
"Hey, bro!"  
Mario broke down, leaping across the room to smother Luigi in a crushing hug.  
"I'm so glad you're back!" He wailed. "I was so worried, I'm such an idiot for letting you go!!"  
"There, there," Luigi smiled, patting Mario's back affectionately. "I'm okay, see? All fine, I promise."  
Luigi waited for his brother's lamentations to stop before he continued.  
"So. I'm uh. Gonna be visiting Bowser again later this week."  
"What?!" Mario jumped back, awash in abject horror. "You're what?!?"  
"Well. We... Hit it off. Bowser's a surprisingly nice guy! He's just really lonely and wants some companionship."  
"So what, he's gonna kidnap you again?!"  
Luigi fished around in his pocket before whipping out what looked like a badge, emblazoned with Bowser's insignia. When he clicked on the symbol, it unfolded, revealing a screen and a keypad inside.  
"Now we can communicate!" Luigi beamed, bouncing excitedly. "He can send me a message and we can schedule and stuff! And I can give you the tracking number so, if you're ever worried, you can find me easily. See? All planned out, in your favor!"  
Mario squinted, untrusting. He took the device, turning it over in his hand. Luigi seemed over the moon, though, smelling faintly like ash and smoke. With a weary sigh, Mario handed the device back, turning to go back to bed.  
"I'm... Glad things worked out," Mario's gaze turned steely, though a lingering tiredness stay behind his eyes. "But I'll be watching like a hawk, I swear. As soon as anything seems fishy--"  
"I know, bro. You'll protect me."  
Luigi headed towards the kitchen, humming softly to himself.  
"You go ahead to bed," He called, accompanied by a faint rustling. "I'm gonna have a sample of this coffee then turn in myself."  
Mario shook his head. He didn't blame Bowser at all: his brother was truly a one-of-a-kind guy. He was lucky to have Luigi's favor.  
"Don't stay up too late," Mario called back, crawling into bed. "Peach needs us to help with some heavy lifting tomorrow in Toad Town."  
"Don't sweat it, big bro, I'll go soon!"  
Mario stayed up, miming sleep, until he was sure Luigi had settled in his own bed and passed out cold. Only when his breathing slowed could Mario relax.  
"What a crazy fucking day." Mario muttered, pulling his blanket up to his ears.  
From his own bed in his castle, Bowser sent Luigi a single text.

Bowser: ♥️

**Author's Note:**

> Please remember to leave kudos and comments and visit me over at doobler.tumblr.com!!


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